Morgan muses: ...and cats might fly!

Rain, rain, rain, rain, rain, rain, rain! All its been doing is raining! If you replace the 7 rains with sleeps you would see what I have been doing all week, Scooby too. How are we meant to have fun and get up to no good with all this rain? You can only jump on the humans sodden once before they see you coming! So I thought I would tell you of something that happened 2 years ago that I remember to entertain you. Unlike now it wasn’t raining then but I was inside… well outside funnily enough but not properly outside I was on the sill of a bedroom window. I was just gazing out into the garden when I heard footsteps behind me. I recognized them as Katty’s and smelt her as she came nearer. She spoke softly to me telling me she was curious where I was because I was quiet (I’m not usually quiet you see) and I tried to turn to see her. But then I realised I couldn’t. I couldn’t turn round. I panicked. My heart beat a million times. I struggled to keep my balance but the sill was slippy. No matter how hard I dug my claws they wouldn’t go. And then I was gone. It was a strange sensation I must say, was flying. I heard screams from above and though the drop lasted less then a minute I felt it was forever. It shook me up. I landed amongst the plants and I shook myself. A moment to find myself followed until the humans – all 4 of them – came running out shouting my name. I felt so embarrassed. “I meant to do that, honest” I purred, pretending that I meant to have flown down in some sort of extravagant finale. They looked me over twice, I got kissed and kissed (Yuk!) and then all sorts of goodies flowed my way: milk, catnip and later, fish. I think they believed me, you know.

My 3rd birthday tail

Yesterday was my 3rd birthday. Can you believe I’m 3 already? We didn’t do anything special in the morning. I had my breakfast and came downstairs but after I had been to collect my chicken from my friends I came back and had a nap – I was already exhausted! A commotion downstairs woke me suddenly. Nosily, I ran downstairs and was met by Morgan, a mouse and a mad Katty. The Mad Katty managed to get Morgan away from the mouse and Morgan wasn’t very happy. I tried to placate Morgan;
‘thank you Morgan, it was very kind that you remembered my birthday. Don’t worry about the present, it’s the thought that counts’ I purred.
He wasn’t in the mood to be pacified and spat at me. I suppose it is a let down when he’d gone to all the trouble to get me something as well…
The weather was nice to me on my birthday anyway. I spent awhile outside and drifted wherever my smell took me. I enjoyed wandering and my smell took me back home where I was greeted to a celebratory dinner of prawns and cheese – only the best for my birthday obviously – but then it got really strange. I went to look out my window in the front room and there were four people there and they all started caterwauling at me. It scared me a lot. I can put up with Katty caterwauling me – terrible clatter but bearable, however the attention of not one but 4 caterwauling humans shocked me and they were also looking at me. I ran out the room in shock and didn’t wait to see what the burning sticks were going to do after. I had seen enough.
So here I am, the morning after the night before recounting my tail to you. I posed with my cake to please the camera and show that I am, at 3, even more experienced than I was two days ago, aged 2.

Was it something I did?

I don’t know what I did. I hadn't scratched, I hadn't bitten, I hadn't hissed, what did I do to deserve such a nightmare? I went to the… I hate the word so much… vet. It was horrible. I knew once they shut me in I was done for and when they got The Cage out I panicked. I hate The Cage. I loathe it. When it comes out and a hand comes to shove me in it I know I’m in for bad disaster but it was too late. I tried to get away I did; behind the curtain, under the chair I ran about the house looking for security but I couldn’t find any – they had even closed the windows so I couldn’t get through one of those. I racked my brains. I fought a bitter battle with them. The best way to resist I have learnt is the ‘star trick.’ Put all your four legs out as wide as possible so in no way can they get you in The Cage. I shriek and growl and whine too. But none of these worked this time, they nearly did, but not quite. I’ll have try even harder next time. At the…. vets…I quieten down. This upsets them, you can see it in their eyes “poor Morgan” they think, but not the vet. She’s a ruthless person, completely callous she is. The humans don’t think so though. They aren’t scared. They can’t smell the fear in the place like I can. They talk to her like they should treat me, like she’s some sort of idol, hanging on to every word she says. I listen too though; fearfully. I can’t wait to get in The Cage again. They put it down and I can’t get in quick enough. I breathe a sigh of relief when they take me back in the car and I arrive home. Home sweet home. They release the door and I slowly edge out in case, just in case, they have more in store for me (you never know with these humans). I go to the window and stare out. A while ago I was innocently one of those cats strolling around boldly but now I sat recounting my terror coyly. Then I smelt it? That heavenly scent. It got nearer and nearer and before I had a chance to respond a bowl of fish was plaiced in front of me. For me? All I can say was it was well deserved, just like the kiss that was put softly on my head moments afterwards, but it was from I am not sure, I was too busy eating.

Bedtime Wars: 'Friends' At Last?

My message must have worked on Scooby, the next time I went upstairs he was curled on his own side leaving my side Scooby-smell free. Though he gave me the dirtiest look a cat can give and glared at me, he just sighed and perched his chin back on his leg (I’ll translate that: “I don’t like you anymore than I did before but am too tired to argue. You keep out of my place and I’ll keep out of yours.”). The next night I was late in and after I summoned the humans at 12.30am (they don’t half take a long time to wake up) to let me out the kitchen I was able to slip softly into my snug bed and fall asleep, no worries.