Musical Chairs

Scooby has stolen my sleeping spot again! I am not happy at all. I have my place, he has his place and so when I tiredly trundled upstairs to my pad ready for a nap and Scooby was there I couldn’t believe my eyes. Scooby must have heard me as he raised his head sluggishly saw it was me and went back to sleep again. That was it. No explanation, no apology, nothing. So now I have to tolerate the hard windowsill. If that wasn’t bad enough I came in when the humans were out (so the doors were shut and we could only go in the kitchen) and Scooby was sat licking himself on my throne! How dare he? Have I told you about my throne? It’s a big chair in the kitchen where I can relax if I come in late one night. They put it especially there for me but Scooby’s nicked it. Now it has his whiff and his fleas on it, it isn’t special for me anymore and I have to eat on the cold kitchen chairs. I am getting to the end of my feather.

Christmouse (without the mouse)

That thing happened; the thing which humans call Christmouse. I got the first whiff of it when a tree appeared in our house! I couldn’t believe it. Then all these nice smells started coming from cupboards and the humans seemed very busy doing this or that – sometimes they were late giving me my dinner. The last part of this puzzle came to a head when Katty hung these strange things up on the door and I realised Christmouse had come and this kind human called Santa Paws was going to bring me some food in the night. Well I couldn’t sleep for a few minutes but then tiredness got the better of me and I awoke on Christmouse Day. Christmouse made up for this human slacking as I got all these nice treats and they gave me ham, turkey (which I haven’t had for ages), CATNIP (yum yum). Though the only thing that was slightly purr-plexing for me was there was no mouse. Anyhow that scrummy food… its making my mouth water as I write about it… got rid of my mystification as afterwards I was so full I fell asleep. I have put up my pictures of mine and Morgan’s stocking (can you work out whose is whose?) and then me eating my Christmouse dinner (ham).

The Tail of the Rat Catcher

I’ve been bursting to tell you this all week now. You never guess what I caught… a rat! It was so big but I caught it and killed it and took it home with me to prove it. I even wanted to put a picture of it on here so you would see it but Katty said no (I think she thought that you would be jealous). You should have seen their faces when I brought it through the flap and presented it on the floor – they were speechless. I sat next to its body pride radiating from my face. After a moment of silence they started squealing in delight. I soaked in the glory for a few seconds before heading off to the front room to tell Dad leaving the commotion behind me. Dad was ogling the crinkly paper so I went and lay on it upside down to bask in my glory and received an admiring tickle. When I had absorbed all the praise I could I waltzed in the kitchen and saw my prize gone. I’m sure they put it in my memory box to treasure for years to come.

Also this week I have been getting a sniff of the Christmouse. I have a suspicion that it is coming again. Not only have I been having lots and lots of catnip EVERY DAY (an Advent calendar?), the Christmouse paper has been out for me to play with and then they have put sparkly string (which they call tinsel) everywhere for me to chew. I have been watching all my humans very closely and there is certainly something going on. I’ll keep you posted.

A Dog's Dinner

Do I look like a dog? Last time I looked at my beautiful face and soft fur in the mirror (I love looking at myself in the mirror and purr very loudly when I do) I didn’t, so why did I end up eating dog food? Well it tasted good and it reminded me of my kittenhood when I was accidentally fed dog food then too. Scooby had scoffed all the cat food and so seeing my famished face staring pitifully at the empty bowl Dad gave us some out the garage. Unfortunately he didn’t look at the picture (of the dog) on the front so he put it in my bowl. It was only when Katty came home that she saw dog food in the bowl I was eating that the truth was discovered. I look bewildered as she took it from under my nose
Hey, I was eating that!
But then my nose told me something better was going to be placed before me so, instead of waiting I jumped on the cupboard and follow my nose until I found the smell
Hurry up, I’m hungry
And ate out the pouch she was putting out – I prefer eating out the pouch it gets in your stomach quicker! I think I prefer the pouch to dog food any day.

Things that go bang in the dark

Something’s happening out there that’s getting me all scared. Scooby isn’t worried, he got all upset about it on Saturday but the novelty’s worn off for him and he’s gone back to sleep. It’s the bangs that keep happening – big loud noises they are and they go on and on and on until late, stop for a while and then start all over again. I worry now when it gets dark and have spent the evening sitting on my new chair in the kitchen not being able to settle wondering what is going to follow. Katty said tonight I wouldn’t have to worry about them but they have come back. Why did she say that? The humans don’t seem very concerned – though they often seem to have hearing defects so that’s probably why. I hope it stops soon; I crave the night time hunting that I like to do and I want to be able to go to sleep without not being able to completely relax. There's some phoney bird sounds coming out of that box on the cupboard which are supposed to help me relax they say but there is only 1 way I can relax and that's if the bangs stop.

V-E-Ts and egg in my face

If anyone has had such an awful week it is me and I need to get it off my chest before I take it out on my brother. It was going ok until two days ago when I started smelling a rat. Not a real rat of course because if it had been Morgan would have caught it but a rat in the form of a locked cat flap. From that moment I tried to open it I knew I was doomed. I ran around the house from front door to window trying to escape knowing what was coming next. It didn't take long before the cage appeared. I tried to fight my way out of the clutches of human hands until I got thrown into the cage and I admitted my defeat. I cannot tell you what happened next, it makes me shiver now. THAT word that they use to describe that scary place... V-E-T. I survived the experience but how I don't know, it must have been down to bravery on my part - smelling all those foreign smells and seeing those dogs. It's enough to give me nightmares. That was two days ago now and I thought yesterday would be better. No such luck. It was really noisy last night it was banging away outside really loud. It worried Morgan as well. For once he got to bed on time with no fuss - he was in bed before me! That's never happened before from what I can remember. But that was after the disaster at teatime. Hold your breath... they gave me egg for my dinner. EGG! Yuk. Morgan eats it but they forget that I don't. I hate it. Detest it in fact. I tell them every week I don't like it but they still give it to me. I circled round the table twice and then showed them what it smelt like by pretending to bury it like I do my poo and then tucked in because it was that or nothing and my stomach was complaining that I had not eaten for an hour. I felt very hard done to and thought my last few days were the worst a cat has ever had. I hope it gets better or I might just stay in hibernation.

Morgan's miffed

It's not been a very good week for us. Scooby's refusing to talk to anyone (except at meal times) and I have done my fair share of moaning. Our friends have disappeared so it is no more chicken for us in the morning. I keep going everyday lots and lots to see if the have reappeared but they have not and as every day goes by I am getting more and more despondant. I can't understand why the have left us and if they had to go why didn't don't they come back every morning to give us our chicken? We are so hard done to. After I get up early to see if they have come back I go and stand by their door and meow and meow at the same volume I have to do in the morning so Katty wakes up so it is very loud and still that isn't waking them. Scooby had taken it badly and gone into almost permanant hibernation until they come back and I don't blame him. The humans tell me they have gone on holiday well I want them to come back!

Animal Welfare Week

As Animal Welfare Week draws to an end I look over how I have been spoiling myself and looking after my welfare. I stayed out all day all week catching 2 mice each day instead of 1, I nabbed Scooby's chicken one day and got lots of treats, thinking about it though I do all those things anyway!

Hibernating

You perhaps wonder why I we haven’t posted for awhile; the fact is that I have been hibernating. As soon as it got cold I decided to hibernate (a word told to me only hours before). The philosophy of hibernating fits me perfectly: sleeping throughout the winter non-stop. Morgan tried hibernating but after 6 hours wanted to go out again. I am successful at it though I get up sporadically to refuel to keep myself warmer.

Scooby Save's the Day

Katty says I have to be truthful when I write this blog – well the title is truthful, I am a hero just inadvertently. I bet you were expecting a story of immense bravery perhaps me saving a mouse Morgan was molesting or me getting in through the cat flap, getting the key and faithfully bringing them to the front to the locked out humans. I could conjure up a story but no, she said I had to tell the TRUTH. So here is THE TRUTH. A couple of nights ago around 8pm I was frolicking about by the side of the house hypnotised by the night aroma that seems to make me hyperactive (it has a deeper affect on Morgan, you get him frog-jumping on the grass but that is another story). Suddenly a loud noise made me jump and I ran out by the side to Dad who was puffing smoke into the air as he does at night (it affects him too).
“What you up to Scooby?” He spoke after a moment quite loudly as he does (it nearly bursts my eardrum his voice does!).
I purred “It wasn’t me” and this time it really wasn’t.
We put the incident behind us and I barely thought about it all night and through the next day; it faded into insignificance. The next day passed in a blur of sleep, food and endless meanders in the garden until early evening when Katty came up to me as I was sleeping soundly in my room.
“Scooby” she whispered as she entered my room, I felt the rush of warm air as she came towards me, paired with her smell; “you’re a hero.”
Tell me something I don’t know.
It transpired (she also tells me some humans are very busy so not to go on about insignificant details) that the loud noise that scared me the other night was actually some naughty human trying to get in some other humans house and territory. By bounding up to Dad and Dad speaking to me in his loud voice scared the bad humans away! I was very proud of my role in the stopping of this break-in however I also have sympathy for the naughty humans because whenever I try and walk in people’s houses they always stop me too (except for a few nice people) when I only want a sniff around. Saying that however when Boss from down the road tries to sit on MY garden it gets me angry so I understand both sides.
Below is a picture of me basking in my HERO status, also just in case you forgot what I looked like!

Keeping 'em sweet

There is nothing like getting toady to a human. They think you love them – well perhaps I do a bit – but it serves the cat no end to keep them sweet. In return for your ‘affection’ you get meals-on-demand, tickling-on-demand, treats, a warm bed… the list is endless. They call it manipulation. I call it Feline Sense.

"It wasn't me"

That’s what I said the morning this week that the empty (all except one) bag of catnip was discovered on the carpet by her door. Strictly this is true because it was Morgan that ‘accidentally’ knocked it off onto the floor and then tore it apart, I just helped him clean it up. However Katty looked like she needed some purr-suasion. I don’t know why but there is something in this house that means whenever anything happens they all look at me. It’s not my fault that a lot of things gets broken when I’m around when I don’t actually do anything. For example, once when I was sitting minding my own business on the windowsill I happened on walking to the other end to get a better view of the dog sauntering up the road. Just then for no reason the vase fell off the sill fell onto the coffee table and rolled onto the floor. The good news was the vase was ok, nevertheless the humans made a big fuss that the glass on the coffee table had broken into a thousand pieces. Trust them to find something wrong with everything. I was blamed for that and though was not scolded I didn’t appreciate my name being dragged through the dirt. Talk about clumsy, the vase took another tumbling only months later and unfortunately didn’t survive. By chance I was there when that happened too! Not only do I get blamed when things fall, when teeth marks were found in a raw chicken I was blamed for that too. Well perhaps I had investigated it a little too closely but Morgan could have snuck in, imprinted his teeth marks and snuck out again but they didn’t even think about this. So fast-forward to me looking at Katty looking at the empty packet of catnip on the floor.
“Seeing as you’ve eaten all those, the pair of you, you won’t need anymore treats for a month.”
That prophecy lasted for all of a day.

Ruby Alert

Like it always does it caught me completely off my usual status of guard cat. I was asleep on Sunday dreaming I was in the Land of Catnip (catnip grass, catnip bowls, even catnip Katty) and suddenly I heard a bark – was it my imagination? No it was real and what’s more it sounded like a Ruby bark. I considered removing myself from the warm duvet but I was still half asleep. I heard the front door open and muffled voices downstairs then the smell of Ruby drifted to my nose. I yawned and went back to sleep; it was time for Ruby Alert. Ruby Alert is quite sporadic in our house and comes into play three or four times a year. I didn’t have to do anything as such (thank goodness) just not venture downstairs for about 6 hours. I refuse to be inconvenienced though and add those six hours to my naptime though Morgan can get pretty upset with it (he once got so fed up he did the unthinkable and braved the downstairs for the speediest exit I’ve ever heard, even quicker than when the carrier appears). It is a bit annoying if I want an immediate cuddle or instant nourishment and also I get upset because I don’t like performing in front of Morgan but apart from that it’s Morgan who has the problem. Who is Ruby you are probably asking? Ruby is a dog. I am not 100% sure why they sometimes invite a dog to our house but I understand that they like her a lot and also her and her guardian-friends are somehow related to them. Anyway, when Ruby comes we are confined to the bedroom with the window open (leading onto pitched roof which we can climb down to on the garden). Though we do go in the garden it can be quite traumatic walking past a window and getting barked at so I usually stay in the sanctuary of my bedroom. If I do feel like a wander, like I did this weekend, my second home comes into good use.
You perhaps wonder why I do not mingle with Ruby. Personally I am not a doggy cat myself. I have never felt the urge to keep a dog as a pet as I have enough trouble with keeping the humans. Also dogs have loud barks that are disturbing and they answer you back Morgan has told me (unlike humans who are so easy to train). They like to appear big and scary but I know I could have one under my thumb in days. However I will give dogs (and Ruby) credit where it’s due, they are more intelligent than humans as they have more advanced smell and hearing than the simple human.

Feline makes a beeline

For us this week has been quite mundane. Apart from being sick on the kitchen floor, Morgan has been strangely normal (I think he is contemplating his next move) and the biggest change for me is that I have now relocated myself onto Katty’s bed at night (well, until it gets a bit uncomfortable half an hour later). The best part of my week was when I had cottage cheese and chicken for dinner, the worst part was when I was run after by a small noisy human, quite the opposite of what is usually around me. I flead to my neighbours house for fuss, food and a refuge until the little human had gone away before coming home sometime later when they had gone. Of course I got a big cuddle and a few treats and the trauma didn’t last too long after that. The photo shows yours truly cuddling his human.

Imagining things is sometimes not enough, so I got myself videoed with my new toy to show you how much I really love it. Enjoy!

Life in the long grass

After last week’s ‘drama’, I’ve been told to keep my feet on the ground. So since it has been hot and lovely I’ve done my fair share of sprawling around outside. I have a number of favourite places to sleep depending on the position of the sun (I spend my morning in one place and as the sunshine leaves and moves to another and go with it). However, when I’m not sleeping I hunt and the best place to do this is in my long grass. I feel like a proper prowler stalking through the grass. I especially like it when Scooby or even a human sits oblivious that they have become my prey and I can hunt them and jump on them. They jump in the air when I leap onto them and I run off. I find this quite amusing. When no-one is there and just sit in the grass and watch out for the slightest movement or listen to the sounds that are around. The long grass makes me feel wild and free… just like I am.

It could only of happened to Morgan

I kept telling them but they wouldn’t listen “if you want Morgan, he’s on the roof.” They were getting agitated and worried continually shouting his name but they wouldn’t pay attention. I heard him a few hours earlier than they spotted him. I was sunbathing on the grass outside and I heard his pitiful meow. I looked everywhere for him and then as I climbed the tree the sound got nearer and there he was standing on top of our next-door-neighbours roof looking rather worried. Me: “What you doing up there?” Morgan: “I’m stuck” Me: “Oh dear…” Being me, I went indoors to the ignorant humans. They were concerned as his morning milk lay next to his tea both untouched (I had eaten his dinner), and frequently went out and shouted, however no matter how hard I tried to demonstrate Morgan’s unfortunate predicament those unintelligent humans passed my behaviour over as mere apprehension. It was late in the evening when it was announced they were going to do a sweep of the local area before bed. I went with them trying to convey that the he was under their nose (or above their heads as the case was). Shouting his name they started up the street only to be met with a feint reply from the heavens. “There he is!” it was declared triumphantly; I rolled my eyes and ran up the tree to observe Morgan’s state more closely. I couldn’t reach him I decided so I kept a watch as the situation unfolded. What happened next I can only describe as a ‘major procedure’ involving one scared cat, four humans, a carrier and a very tall ladder. Mum went up the ladder and after a failed attempt to bring Morgan down in her arms it was decided that the carrier was the only option. Morgan didn’t like that; as you know his relationship with the carrier isn’t a good one. After a struggle with 2 humans (mum and the next-door-neighbour) they finally got him down (cheered on by 2 more humans on the ground). They took him inside and I followed. Morgan sheepishly emerged from the carrier and went in the kitchen for his milk, tea and an extra bowl of milk for his troubles. I was banished from there half way through his first meal for ‘putting Morgan off his food’ (really I tried to help him eat it), so I wearily sauntered off to bed but not before I was given some treats for my part in the rescue operation. As sleep beckoned and I dozed on and off the family eventually came to bed. Last thing before I finally drifted off a comfortable, albeit exhausted Morgan curled up contently on a duvet with his paw in the hand of a sleeping Katty. I can guarantee the one thought that stuck in my head throughout his ordeal: it could of only happened to Morgan.

Morgan muses: ...and cats might fly!

Rain, rain, rain, rain, rain, rain, rain! All its been doing is raining! If you replace the 7 rains with sleeps you would see what I have been doing all week, Scooby too. How are we meant to have fun and get up to no good with all this rain? You can only jump on the humans sodden once before they see you coming! So I thought I would tell you of something that happened 2 years ago that I remember to entertain you. Unlike now it wasn’t raining then but I was inside… well outside funnily enough but not properly outside I was on the sill of a bedroom window. I was just gazing out into the garden when I heard footsteps behind me. I recognized them as Katty’s and smelt her as she came nearer. She spoke softly to me telling me she was curious where I was because I was quiet (I’m not usually quiet you see) and I tried to turn to see her. But then I realised I couldn’t. I couldn’t turn round. I panicked. My heart beat a million times. I struggled to keep my balance but the sill was slippy. No matter how hard I dug my claws they wouldn’t go. And then I was gone. It was a strange sensation I must say, was flying. I heard screams from above and though the drop lasted less then a minute I felt it was forever. It shook me up. I landed amongst the plants and I shook myself. A moment to find myself followed until the humans – all 4 of them – came running out shouting my name. I felt so embarrassed. “I meant to do that, honest” I purred, pretending that I meant to have flown down in some sort of extravagant finale. They looked me over twice, I got kissed and kissed (Yuk!) and then all sorts of goodies flowed my way: milk, catnip and later, fish. I think they believed me, you know.

My 3rd birthday tail

Yesterday was my 3rd birthday. Can you believe I’m 3 already? We didn’t do anything special in the morning. I had my breakfast and came downstairs but after I had been to collect my chicken from my friends I came back and had a nap – I was already exhausted! A commotion downstairs woke me suddenly. Nosily, I ran downstairs and was met by Morgan, a mouse and a mad Katty. The Mad Katty managed to get Morgan away from the mouse and Morgan wasn’t very happy. I tried to placate Morgan;
‘thank you Morgan, it was very kind that you remembered my birthday. Don’t worry about the present, it’s the thought that counts’ I purred.
He wasn’t in the mood to be pacified and spat at me. I suppose it is a let down when he’d gone to all the trouble to get me something as well…
The weather was nice to me on my birthday anyway. I spent awhile outside and drifted wherever my smell took me. I enjoyed wandering and my smell took me back home where I was greeted to a celebratory dinner of prawns and cheese – only the best for my birthday obviously – but then it got really strange. I went to look out my window in the front room and there were four people there and they all started caterwauling at me. It scared me a lot. I can put up with Katty caterwauling me – terrible clatter but bearable, however the attention of not one but 4 caterwauling humans shocked me and they were also looking at me. I ran out the room in shock and didn’t wait to see what the burning sticks were going to do after. I had seen enough.
So here I am, the morning after the night before recounting my tail to you. I posed with my cake to please the camera and show that I am, at 3, even more experienced than I was two days ago, aged 2.

Was it something I did?

I don’t know what I did. I hadn't scratched, I hadn't bitten, I hadn't hissed, what did I do to deserve such a nightmare? I went to the… I hate the word so much… vet. It was horrible. I knew once they shut me in I was done for and when they got The Cage out I panicked. I hate The Cage. I loathe it. When it comes out and a hand comes to shove me in it I know I’m in for bad disaster but it was too late. I tried to get away I did; behind the curtain, under the chair I ran about the house looking for security but I couldn’t find any – they had even closed the windows so I couldn’t get through one of those. I racked my brains. I fought a bitter battle with them. The best way to resist I have learnt is the ‘star trick.’ Put all your four legs out as wide as possible so in no way can they get you in The Cage. I shriek and growl and whine too. But none of these worked this time, they nearly did, but not quite. I’ll have try even harder next time. At the…. vets…I quieten down. This upsets them, you can see it in their eyes “poor Morgan” they think, but not the vet. She’s a ruthless person, completely callous she is. The humans don’t think so though. They aren’t scared. They can’t smell the fear in the place like I can. They talk to her like they should treat me, like she’s some sort of idol, hanging on to every word she says. I listen too though; fearfully. I can’t wait to get in The Cage again. They put it down and I can’t get in quick enough. I breathe a sigh of relief when they take me back in the car and I arrive home. Home sweet home. They release the door and I slowly edge out in case, just in case, they have more in store for me (you never know with these humans). I go to the window and stare out. A while ago I was innocently one of those cats strolling around boldly but now I sat recounting my terror coyly. Then I smelt it? That heavenly scent. It got nearer and nearer and before I had a chance to respond a bowl of fish was plaiced in front of me. For me? All I can say was it was well deserved, just like the kiss that was put softly on my head moments afterwards, but it was from I am not sure, I was too busy eating.