Saturday, November 18, 2006

Survive Your Diet the Scooby Way

I am going through every feline’s worst nightmare. I’m on a diet. I have lost .3 in 2 weeks and I can feel the difference already. I am much colder. I have learnt many tricks though to keep the food intake up. I have written here my top 10 for any other poor cat who is put on a diet:
1. Identify the soft-touch. This human will give you food no matter what, no matter when and all you have to do is put on your ‘deprived’ look
2. Sit forlornly next to your food bowl. Even daft humans will understand this demand
3. Jump on the cupboards. They will bribe you with anything just to get you off.
4. Every cat knows that coming through the cat flap immediately entitles you to some food. Go out and come in every 5 minutes
5. Place yourself at your human’s feet when they are eating. Food rains down on you
6. Seductively fall down and roll over in a doorway and wait for someone to come and stroke you then as they touch you get up and go to your bowl
7. When you see someone walk into the kitchen run after them and catch them up. When they try to walk out stand in front of the door
8. Wrap yourself round somebody’s feet and follow them around. This doesn’t work for lazy humans.
9. If you’re unlucky enough to have a brother like me, turn it into a positive and eat his dinner too
10. If all else fails, go to your other homes and repeat steps 1-9 there.
Good luck

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